The amount of thought I have put to writing this is fascinating to me because I don't think I can remember how many times I have tried to write this and how many directions I have tried to put this in. I think I have come to the conclusion that there is no direct way to talk about it. Stress to me is one thing that is both a blessing and curse. It helps me get the job done but within the same wavelength, it can stop me from achieving.
But the main underlying information behind it is stress is what I make it. My choices decide if something is going to stop me from progressing and moving on or if it will cause me to strive and achieve things which I haven't been able to before. This post is now going to be put towards what I do to try to minimalize stress and what people have said to me about stress and their perceptions of it. As I normally do, I may spiral out and include other things that I think would be good to add because I'm a sort of write it in one go and release it after sending it to a friend to check if it's good or not. I think reading it over and over will stop it from becoming natural and it stops me from making it my own in my opinion.
But I digress. The first question is:
This is going to sound rather contradicting but stress doesn't have a single definition. It can be the thing that drives you and the thing that can ruin you. The reason that I haven't been able to bring my opinion of this out sooner is because of things in life causing me to bring myself to a conclusion of what I think stress is and I think that would be wrong because it would show bias due to recent events. Since I have got into the industry, I hear about "Burnout" a fair amount. This is where people get so stressed and work so hard that they just break down and lose all motivation. I'm not sure if I've had it or not yet as I have had time when I haven't wanted to work at all and lost all motivation but I still bring myself back because I feel like if I don't, I will crash and fail and this is something which I cannot afford to do. I've been told in the past and recently that I need to slow down because:
"If you keep on going a million miles an hour, you're going to crash"
But I feel like if I go a million miles for 1 more hour, I'll achieve an unfathomable amount more that moving at 10 miles an hour for years (I understand that the analogy is quite hard to understand but I believe that it makes sense).
What I think that I am trying to get at is that I can see in myself that I have achieved a lot for my age. I feel like I have only just began and I can understand that for the people around me it can be hard to see because they're worried about mental health and I can respect that as I would do the same. But I believe that I am different. I feel like I have more of a drive and more enthusiasm than other people, so I think I should use my talent to inspire and for good rather than it go to waste.
I am able to use stress as a fuel for my mind as I see it as that the stress is able to push me to my deadline quicker and allow me to function faster, more efficiently, and more creatively. In a way it can be used as a natural energy source for me because yes stress may keep me awake. But, it can keep me up doing what I need to do to achieve my goals in life. It is completely understandable and respectful where people take breaks in the face of stress because people know their limits and what they have to do when it comes to increased stress but for me, I feel like I have to / should push on, so I can achieve and be something bigger than I actually am.
But on the flip side, stress is something that can make me not want to get out of bed and can make me not want to go outside and socialize. But I think that's okay because as a friend told me. It's okay to take time to rest. We take time out of days to sleep and rest so why can't we spend time to procrastinate and just be lazy? I think it's possible to be efficiently lazy by doing something stress free and productive. I have friends that watch documentaries instead of fictional shows, so they're still learning something. Or people that read books that can broaden their outlook on life or teach them valuable lessons. But you can also most importantly, do something that will decrease stress the most. This can be plating video games, watching entertaining films or just going for a walk. The level of efficiency can be seen as completely subjective because for some, it can be seen the level of efficiency is the best way that the stress is decreased and for some (like me) it can be seen in a different way.
If you have read this far, I just want to say thank you for reading and staying interested and to check out my other posts and there are some more coming soon. From reading this, you are exploring my thoughts and emotions. This blog is written for the same purpose of the late rapper Jahseh Onfroy or "XXXTentacion" where his introduction includes:
"By listening to this album, you are literally And I cannot stress this enough Literally Entering my mind ... I do not value your money I value your acceptance and loyalty Here is my pain and thoughts put into words I put my all into this In the hopes that it will help cure Or at least numb your depression"
(And in this case I hope to add open your eyes to something that you haven't seen before).
Thank you for reading.